Episode 304: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Status Quo
on January 12, 2015
and modified on July 6, 2018.
Hey there, lovely readers! I’m back from a long holiday break with your first Gyno-Star comic of 2015. Enjoy. And happy new year!
The Adventures of Gyno-Star
Fighting the forces of evil and male chauvinism
Yes! The solution is to thwock villains in the jaw, never to deal with the underlying social conditions which perpetuate the social order and, in many ways, give rise to the villains.
Or, to paraphrase a contemporary philosopher:
“It’s all about dat thwock, ’bout dat thwock – no justice.”
When you peek behind the curtain of superheroes, it falls apart pretty quick.
Man, he’s got some “stars upon thars”.
Silly Gyno-Star, superheroes don’t change things. Supervillains are the ones who want change.
I find American Superman clone’s star-covered undies to be very distracting. I don’t want to be staring at his junk, but … stars!
By my stars and garters?
Nicely done!
Poor Gynostar. She’s going to be either tearing her hair out in stress or just get super frustrated. Maybe even starting hitting.
I think you better stop, Gyno-Star! Soon you’ll get in the territory that involves why villains are so free to operate and existent in the first place, and you don’t want to be out of a job, right?
After all, it’d hardly be justice to make every hero unemployed by lack of crime and evil to fight, riiiight~?
You don’t become famous for fighting crime in advance. After all, no one notices a crime that is not committed.
And being famous is what being a hero is all about, right?
Unless you’re in Minority Report?
After this arc, I’ve got a new super villain for you:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/01/13/cardinal-burke-is-right-women-are-terrifying/
The super villain has a biretta made of aluminum foil.
I suspect Gynostar might be a tad bit too clever to be a superhero. Or maybe too honourable.
The others intuitively know that if you achieve equality of the sexes, there may be less poor, malnutritioned grannies who are in dire need of saving when their handbag gets stolen, and more fit old ladies who are perfectly able to catch the thief themselves. And what would that mean for the heroing business?
Not to mention that the children of single mothers would be more likely to get proper childcare and an education, which would mean that fewer of them turn to a life of crime. The horror! Who would need a hero in such a world?
Gynostar would like it quite well to be made superfluous by her own actions, but I don’t get that impression with the other heroes …
To be fair, you can’t punch social injustice in the face. Or anywhere else, for that matter. How do you expect these fools to confront it?
You can punch people who contribute to social injustice in the face, though. Of course they would have to punch themselves in the face, too, in that case, so I can see why they’re not terribly motivated to fight social injustice.
I will say one thing for him: he’s a lot less self-deluded than Superman.
Superman thinks he stands “for Truth, Justice and the American Way.” But of course he’s built his whole life around lying constantly to everyone he knows. As for item number two, you said it. The one part that’s true is the American Way: he’s an iconic immigrant success story. But that’s the one part of his slogan he’s dropped.
Oh, credit where due: I’m paraphrasing someone who uses the pseudonym “Bluefall.”
“The American Way”. That’s the superhero team equivalent of “having it all”, isn’t it?
Hah!